Were you scared of turning over into the BIG FOUR OH? How did you feel leaving your thirties? Perhaps you are reading this and are nowhere near either age and probably even think that forty is old! Once upon a time, I thought forty was old. But now that I am days away from leaving my thirties forever, I realize I am still me and feel, inside, ageless. I see lines appearing on my face and other various parts of my body, lines that were never there before, and to me, they are just there and nothing more than expressions of life continuing to live.

A decade of living in my thirties has taught me a a lot. From that first night, celebrated in Wakefield, Quebec at Kaffe 1870, (one of the sweetest little pubs in the world) I sang my heart out on that little stage and we made a right 'ole night of it. That night was the catapult into my song-writing adventures as a committed musician. I was moving away from Wakefield to live my life as the Singer I was meant to be. I'd dabbled in music for years before that but by the time I hit thirty, I was ready to take it on, full time. It was my first year as a professional in the industry...I would go on to write enough songs to record my very first full length record "Sound." I had the whole world at my fingertips and I still do. WE still do. Anything is possible.

Forty seemed so far away. How could I ever be ready for such an elephantine age? But somehow, I will ease into it with grace and I am ready. Life is like that, you don't even know it, but it is preparing us, every second for whatever comes our way. If only I knew then what I know now, so many moments of worry and fear would have been non-existent. It IS true, life after thirty changes, something shifts inside and room for wisdom is made. Some things we wish we could UN learn, but the steadfast beat of the ever-thumping time drum keeps on keeping on.

The wheel just doesn't stop so there is no point in fighting it. One thing for sure that I have learned over the course of my life, is that it only gets better. At one point I feared getting older. Now I know that you don't get older, you get wiser! Sure, I mentioned the collection of lines, earlier, but really we just collect knowledge. I Love that. Certainly we don't always use our new-found wisdom, and would rather disregard some things (we are human and occasionally need to drink MORE water on a Sunday morning! When will we ever learn?) I suppose the biggest lessons I learned from my thirties had to with Self. Self Love. Self acceptance. Self awareness. Self respect. Perhaps it sounds Self ISH, but we are only given one life and we have to live with ourselves for the rest of it. I wanted to impart some of the insights I found while living through this last decade, but these words from Herman Hesse sum it up quite nicely.

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So, there it is. The next time I write, I will be Forty years and counting. Today, right this second I am the youngest I will ever be and the oldest I have ever been.

Love.

We might not be fighting a war, half naked, wearing pelts to keep us warm, with purple lips, lice filled hair, our bodies caked with mud and blood. We might not be fighting herds of axe carrying humans leaving hoards of the dead in our wake. No, we are living in a much later time, somewhat as barbaric but nowhere near the days when humans believed the Earth was flat. We can, however, still be warriors in our own right.

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Every person is fighting something. I wake up some mornings, groggy, fighting the desire to return to my dreaming. Instead I focus on my breathing and prepare for the day ahead, visualizing what will become of it. Centering myself in light and hoping for a fresh perspective, hoping for the essence of positivity. Some mornings I am too tired to meditate on this, or too busy/late to think about it. Doubting if any of it works anyway. Focusing on what is good in life, does not always make me feel good. My inner fight between resistance and doing is constant. Game of Thrones or Guitar? Sweeping or Singing? Hiking or Hiding? There is always a choice and always an opposite. I am always in the "throws." Assuming you are too, what is the secret? To do or not to do.

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Speaking of TWO MINDS... here is a song from my new RECORD featuring JOFO https://soundcloud.com/secretchameleon/two-minds JOFO has also just released an awesome record... Check HIM out HERE

We always get through, don't we? One foot in front of the other. I suppose there are ways to enhance our days, perhaps meditating on the good stuff, incorporating that into our daily lives (like I try to do in the mornings!) Maybe those seemingly small things are what makes it all okay at the end of the day. I do know that all of it takes hard work. It is true that nothing great comes easy and fast. I was having a conversation with a friend of mine yesterday, about the music industry (a can of worms!) She is just about to release her first album and is feeling defeated. I too feel this on a regular basis, there is nothing quite like comparing ourselves to others! I am almost ten years in and am working on NOT doing this. Still, we bust our butts and climb that mountain! There is no try, there is only Do or Do Not. (Thanks Yoda) That inner fighting continues "Am I good enough?" Quieting the negative and holding onto your Warrior. This is what matters....

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There is so much noise out there though! So many people with so many opinions. It is so hard to figure out what to learn from and what to leave. Don't we all get mixed up sometimes? Where to draw the line, what to keep and what to discard. It's funny, someone will mention to me after a concert, how touched they were by my performance. I need those words of encouragement! Sometimes though, 'the not so pretty' stuff sticks and I find myself in the middle of singing a song, thinking about that time someone told me they didn't like the song. That I shouldn't sing it at all. If only we could hold on tight to what matters and let go of what does not. It is a constant struggle though, isn't it? Oh to be a warrior!!

I can only do what is best for me and hope that in some tiny way I am getting through to someone out there. It is true, not everything I do will resonate in a positive manner, but I will do my best to fight the resistance within, release the harmful thoughts of others and be that warrior!!

Hugs and Love from a computer somewhere..

Lindsay xo

Ta-Ta Thirties!!

We Are Warriors

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